Rubio, Republicans and the Right: Winning with Water

Never mind that there was more truth in Senator Marco Rubio’s awkward drink of water than there was in the preceding State of the Union address by President Barack Hussein Obama. Anyway, most Americans skipped the cringe-inducing hour-long speech by the Targeted-Drone-in-Chief. (Many of us chose the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show over the Dog-and-Pony-Show Tele-prompter Lalapalooza. Yay Affenpinscher! Go Banana Joe!!) Even fewer stuck around to witness the Big Drink of Water. We had to catch it in the endless re-runs, courtesy of the supurbly-coiffed moving mouths in the Alphabet Networks.

But just forget Wolf Blitzer and the other gasping girls in the CNN Situation-Comedy Room. What they are trying to divert your attention from is the wisdom and clarity of what Senator Rubio actually said.

But [President Obama’s] favorite attack of all is that those who don’t agree with him – they only care about rich people.

Mr. President, I still live in the same working class neighborhood I grew up in. My neighbors aren’t millionaires. They’re retirees who depend on Social Security and Medicare. They’re workers who have to get up early tomorrow morning and go to work to pay the bills. They’re immigrants, who came here because they were stuck in poverty in countries where the government dominated the economy.

The tax increases and the deficit spending you propose will hurt middle class families. It will cost them their raises. It will cost them their benefits. It may even cost some of them their jobs.

And it will hurt seniors because it does nothing to save Medicare and Social Security.

So Mr. President, I don’t oppose your plans because I want to protect the rich. I oppose your plans because I want to protect my neighbors.

Okay, Wolf, I know this play. I lived in New York. It’s a hot summer night. You set a little fire in the garbage shoot and start yelling. The tenants, hearing the commotion and smelling smoke, run into the hall to see what’s going on. This gives your partner time to sneak into the apartment through the open window on the fire escape, to steal the radio.

But it is a pathetic stretch to turn an unscripted drink of water during the delivery of a nationally televised speech into a tsunami in order to prop up the vapid Leader of the Western World (formerly known as the Free World). This is what “Journalism” has become in the 21st Century.

If you live in the mind of an MSNBC broadcaster, this “Rubio’s Watergate” incident is apparently a train wreck. Therefore, we demand photographs! Brace yourself, because until now it has been a not-too-well kept secret that Senator Marco Rubio is not the only one in the GOP who has been observed refreshing himself with a drink of water. Here are the pictures to prove it!

Rep Paul Ryan, Sen Marco Rubio, Gov Mitt Romney

Rep Paul Ryan, Sen Marco Rubio, Gov Mitt Romney: Refreshing

As an interesting point of trivia, while it is probably true that Democrats also drink water, there are no known photographs of Vice President Joseph Biden in the act of doing so. There is evidence, however, that while the party with the elephant mascot favors water, the jackass party has distinctly more complex beverage preferences.

Clinton_Clinton_Obama

Pres William Jefferson Clinton, Sec Hillary Rodham Clinton, Pres Barack Hussein Obama: In their Cups

Right.

Former First Dog Barney, RIP (2000-2013)

Barney, the Scottish Terrier that lived in the White House with President George W. Bush and First Lady Laura Bush, passed away on February 1, 2013. Born on September 30, 2000, Barney died at age 12 after battling lymphoma.

Since retiring and moving back to Texas, President Bush has been painting landscapes and dog portraits. This portrait of Barney is one of the President’s paintings. It is signed “43.”

Barney Bush

Portrait of Barney
by President George W. Bush

President Bush issued the following statement:

Laura and I are sad to announce that our Scottish Terrier, Barney, has passed away. The little fellow had been suffering from lymphoma and after twelve and a half years of life, his body could not fight off the illness.

Barney and I enjoyed the outdoors. He loved to accompany me when I fished for bass at the ranch. He was a fierce armadillo hunter. At Camp David, his favorite activity was chasing golf balls on the chipping green.

Barney guarded the South Lawn entrance of the White House as if he were a Secret Service agent. He wandered the halls of the West Wing looking for treats from his many friends. He starred in Barney Cam and gave the American people Christmas tours of the White House. Barney greeted Queens, Heads of State, and Prime Ministers. He was always polite and never jumped in their laps.

Barney was by my side during our eight years in the White House. He never discussed politics and was always a faithful friend. Laura and I will miss our pal.